Adam 'Mat Solo' Chan

Despite winning the coveted MVP of the national touch league recently, Mat Solo is now focusing on his lastest obstacle, the study of Soil. With an amibition to graduate with first class honours in Environmental Engineering, Mat solo is camping at the training ground - the Turf city; well known for infectious soil, and mugging for his dear life. Of course, occassionally engage into some touching with whichever girls available there.

Rumour has it that he might wanna form a breakaway team from the Boon Lay warriors, the Boon LAY Touchies. This is due to his fading interest in contact sports, and his growing passion for his LAY.. i mean the touch comunity. However, we do not want to distract him too much about this rumour as yet. He is a great servant to Boon Lay Warriors United ever since 2005, we wish his all the best in whatever decisions he make.

Malcolm 'Hairy Mal' Wong
Hairy Mal has gone through numerous physical appearances in growing his facial hair, losing them, and growing them again. He's now in full force with his 'Hairy Mal' image and looks to break the NTU record for 'least amount of skin seen on a face'. He has since captured several endorsements and will be eagerly anticipated in upcoming 'Yunnan Facial Hair Treatment' advertisements.

His recent efforts in exam preparations have been astounding, with rumours of him completing past year papers dated back to 1923. This amazing feat has reaped great rewards as he brushed off our correspondents with a confident smirk after his most recent paper. "Too easy," chuckled Mal.

Ash 'run faster than *blah blah blah'

Ash is probably currently enjoying his post-exam celebrations after finishing with one and ONLY one paper, beating the likes of Stormy and other Milton Friedman wannabes. But, he'd have to celebrate alone for now - since the rest are still diligently mugging for their papers still.

He is currently 'zhenging' his 'Vanilla Coke' vespar into a road rage warrior, in preparation for the annual 'Harley vs Vespar' road race in Kualar Lumpur. Rumour has it that he would be competing head to head with 'Ex-Muscle Man aka KKJ' Weiqiang in this grueling 63-hour race.

Darren 'I'm on Drugs' Hoe

More affectionately known as Beng Chao by his fellow teammates, Druggy has been contracted with an ultimate deadly virus. This is way out of the Dota-ti-litis' league which have plagued the majority of the Boon Lay Warriors Rugby players. This deadly virus is... FM-ti-litis. The victim will experience a 'lost track of time' syndrome. While a normal Dota-ti-litis patient will experience only 3~4 hours of struggle with the disease, FM-ti-litis is far more deadly. Druggy went into twilight zone for an amazing 8 hours. During this period of time, he is oblivious to whats happening around him. Druggy has 1 last paper to be completed. We wish him all the best that he will emerge victorious against this virus.

Praga 'Slim 10 spokesman'

Praga********, or more affectionately known to us as Praga, is a quiet and composed character and a man of few words. Most would remember him as the helpful 'chef' during our BBQ at JINGHAO's mansion; as well as the no-nonsense player on the field. Praga used to be a MASSIVE prop during his SAJC days. However, after using Slim 10, he is now slimmer 10 times compared to before. Praga is currently camping in his chemistry lab doing research on developing a new product- Slim 11, and preparing for his exams at the same time. We hope this brainy forward can make a break thru' in his research. I'm sure players like Hairy Mal and Stormy Normy will volunteer to try out the product.

Exams in the most northern tip of the Singapore border have already begun, even before the Teriyaki Boys can finish singing 'fast and furious'. It's a tough time juggling between lost causes of frantic last minute revisions and still deliver the goods in satisfying the limitless demands of our ardent fans.

We have since been renowned to surpass 'a certain local national rugby website' in the aspects of reliability and professional appraoch in updates. We live just to deliver our weekly fix of humourous propaganda, on what is fast becoming the most liberating experience in Singapore's rugby history, ever since Carlos Spencer and Richie McCaw were spotted at Zouk groping the asses of SPGs. So what the heck, here goes our next lucky 5.

Yongyao by day, Jed by night
Attaining legendary status in the local school boy rugby scene has never been easy on Yongyao. Bursting onto the scene as a gawky Sec 1 ACS kid and slowly blossoming into a wartorn fighting machine wrapped up in cotton wool, Yongyao has never been able to handle the tremendous stress of being under constant spotlight and has developed an alter ego that only exists at night, Jed.

It has also been rumoured that he may be developing a third personality in the near future in 'Me, Myself and Jed'. In the day, Yongyao is a hardworking student, often spotted at Lee Wee Nam library trying out tutorial questions in preparations for his exams. He is very focused in his work and is never one to succumb to temptations of girl-watching and computer gaming. At night is where the transformation takes place as Jed takes over and banishes Yongyao into the abyss.

A recent indulgence in the blogosphere, Jed is a pen-wielding medieval warrior trying to weave words of magic to captivate the attention of his audience; and look to upstake our local celeb-blogger XX and strut his studs during next month's Louis Vuitton 'invited members only' party. Being one of the new upstarts in the rugby community blogging scene, Jed is looking to usurp the throne that is currently held by www.nturugbynews.blogspot.com. However, unless his blog is able to generate 10,000 hits within 3 months, or engage services from the Real Refresher, the Editors are not really bothered.

Ah Kow
Ah Kow is not really a dog, and is definitely not the kind of coffee shop beer drinker your parents have always warned you about. Ah Kow is the big friendly giant that zips around in his sports car with a hanging dented bumper. It is a cheaper alternative to lowering the car suspension.

Despite being a full time student, Ah Kow is a passionate foodie and also an inventor. During the last exams, he is the pioneer of the never before seen "Triple Decker Fillet O fish with extra tartar sauce and cheese". It is a pity this Oil Mogul's nephew is not born in Arabia, if not it would be nice to see Ah Kow as a sheikh carrying moon-swords and riding a camel.

Ah Kow is currently studying for his GE module "101 ways to befriend your stomach" and is seeking to follow up on his previous award winning burger by inventing something out of this world. However, he declined to reveal any inroads to his latest experiment, preferring to leave it to the reader's imagination.

Commando Ken and Flanker "Fake Centre" Wenjie
NTU Rugby's pair of siamese twins have never been seen seperated..ever before. The marvels of modern technology has not tempted the pair to surgically seperate themselves from each other. Even as we type, these two stalwarts are planning to visit the SAF E-mart to replenish their depleting stock of combat ration. It has always been their staple diet, especially during times of stress like the exams.

It is rumoured that Commando Ken has the soft spot for Glutinous Rice with Chicken, while Wenjie just has a soft spot for Ken (Barbie doll's Ken).

Weiqiang "Ex Muscle Man" aka Ku Ku Jiao
This is the dude who at the tender age of 20 attained the title of Grandmaster in the dodgy bodybuilding world of steroite-abusing and was fondly known by everyone to be the "Body Master". Fed up with counting calorie intakes and raw eggs, KKJ decided to forgo his Manhunt ambitions and picked up rugby for fun. It was then that the KKJ name stuck...and never came off.

Currently a trainee PE teacher at NIE, KKJ has the luxury of 0 exams compared to his compatriots at NTU. However, he is no longer indulging in rugby as it has taken a toll on both his knees which required extensive reconstruction surgery.

Rumour has it that his legs are fine, but he is still traumatised being lifted in the scrum by a Norwegian female prop half his size up in KL Royal Selangor RFC. While everyone else is studying, KKJ has since invested in a brand new bike and considers cycling his new found love, a sport where you can't find any scarier than Norwegian girls.

Just who may be the next lucky picks for our updates?

Following the hugely successful comback post of the season where the editors were flooded with fan mails and passionate reviews from the faithful, we are proud to bring to you Part 2 of the exam update right here in Planet NTU. Enjoy!

Daniel 'Bro Love' Huang
Star Daniel has successfully recovered from his life threatening 4 stitches on his head and is now faithfully mugging his books in preparation for the upcoming exams. It seems like Dota is not the only addiction this ex-RJC dude is addicted to. Weeks (some sources say months) leading to the exam, Daniel Huang can be spotted eating Indomee Mee Goreng in his room every single night and day. Star Daniel has single handedly boosted the Indonesian economy by his buying power and is said to have pulled Indonesia out of recession and heading towards a steady growth in future. Currently, he is looking forward to providing half of the US$60m required by Indonesian government to combat the haze problem by acquiring more boxes of Indomee. At press time, the Indomee staff were unable to be present as they were all at a showroom test driving the latest Lamborghini. However, their spokesman revealed that Indomee has plans to be listed on the Singapore stock exchange.
' We have lost our single biggest customer to Indomee and it will be a struggle to hit forecasted sales figures. This may be the first time in history the financial statements of Macdonald's is in the red." Ronald Macdonald predicted the conglomerate's bleak outlook when interviewed.

Tze ' The Cat walker'
Having had a fallout with elite modelling agency Elite Models Inc due to a lack of opportunities in shooting a controversial portfolio and coffee table book with David Gan, Catwalker Tze has decided to put the glitz and glamour of the fashion world behind him and come clean to his true calling, studying and rugby. However, Catwalker is displaying signs of withdrawal symptoms from the industry that he sorely misses. His neighbours in hall have yet to register a sighting of him in weeks and he is rumoured to only saunter back for a few hours of sleep only when everyone has concussed, and leaves before even the SBS bus starts service. To date, the editors are still waiting for confirmation from the Students Admin Office on whether Tze is still a matriculated student, or has he already done a "Jakob Chong Junhao" and disappeared...forever..

Peter 'Fake Angmoh' Walker
Boasting to be the true blue and only 'walker' in the team, Peter is desperate to shed his tag as an ang moh wannabe.

"I have a rich heritage and I am proud of it hor. I don't know why people have to doubt my authenticity as an ang moh lar. I am really disappointed by their behaviour leh , and I am hoping to prove once and for all that I am indeed the real deal hor."

Despite the upcoming exams, Peter has been making trips to the Ireland embassy in Singapore to solicitate more information about his birth heritage. He is also set to make a trip back to Dublin this week to get an authentic picture of his ang moh grandparents cradling him in their arms.

"Its true I am desperate to set things right. I will do whatever it takes to prove myself....exam or not! Bryanboy Yik has set his sights on 7 fruitful years in NTU, I am sure I can manage the same."

Andy 'No show" Prakarsa
Recent terror reports on Al Qaeda's planned holiday attacks on European targets have inevitably unsettled Prakarsa, who survived the double Bali bomb blasts only because he was out on the streets soliciting a roadside hooker(prostitute, or could have been any random lineout thrower). Prakarsa is said to have ignored all plans to study for the upcoming examinations and have flown back to Bali to view and hopefully secure exclusive rights to the most impregnable bomb shelter ever built in Bali.
"I am born and bred here. But I don't wanna die here. " said Prakarsa over the static noise of the unstable Skype connection.
" I hope my teammates in Singapore will understand my plight and forgive me for constantly skipping training."

Arjun 'Show it' Pandey
The controversial captain of the Boon Lay warriors have always been a real fighter both on and off the field. His personal collection of Yellow cards and sin bins now sits proudly in the cabinet of his humble abode in Boon Lay, while he mugs on his books faithfully.
During his free time, 'Show it' Pandey can be seen hiding behind the pillars of his void deck taking a puff on all kinds of sticks from all kinds of people. In a further bid to 'relieve' himself from exam stress, he has taken to visiting Zouk, Devils Bar and MOS faithfully, sometimes alone. Reliable sources revealed that Arjun had been spotted with Joyce, the infamous transvetite romantically linked to Pandey in the 05/06 season (ask the seniors). Having been forced to split up with her to focus on the IVP season, Arjun is making a strong comeback in winning his/her (depending on mood) heart and is leaving no stones unturned in his relentless pursuit. Our roving reporter is unable to confirm such allegations and 'Show it' cannot be contacted at press time.
We hope that when the time is ripe, Arjun can stand up and clear the air of mystery, and obtain a bottle of KY jelly free courtesy of nturugbynews.blogspot.com, where we report the truth and nothing but the truth.

In the midst of intensive mugging in preparation for the joyous season of exams in November, Rugbynet is proud to bring you the greatest news of all times - Bryanboy Yik has been cured of Dotatilitis!!
The climate chills the surrounding as the forsaken west of Singapore, NTU enters the monsoon as well as the exams seasons where people are busy printing notes from lecture 1, buying textbooks and doing tutorials 1-3. Doctors of Nanyang brought good and bad news.

Bad news first.
The Spread of Dotatilitis is beyond control. More and more NTU ruggers are infected with this strange disease. Latest victims includes Emery 'Sub10' Ong and Awesome Kiat. Sub 10 Ong was caught hacking into everyone and anyone's computer(often behind closed doors), just to get a 1 vs 1(easy) AI DOTA game. Awesome admitted that he carries the DOTA MapPack in his thumbdrive aka 'Chris' (perhaps naming his thumbdrive after Dinosaur Cheng?) along with him everywhere he goes.

The only resident who has yet to be infected is Darren "I'm on drugs" Hoe. When asked about his self protection against the virus, he claims that his drugs (more commonly known as ICE, Estasy etc) is blocking the virus from entering his body.

Present patient - Daniel "Brother Love" Huang has reached the terminal stage of the disease. He was unable to speak to the press at this moment but is often heard shouting "DOTA leh!" or seen playing alone at times when any normal person would be sleeping.



Now for the MERRY GOOD NEWS!
Doctors have officially confirmed that Bryanboy Yik has been cured. The DOTA Annoymous Help Group sessions as well as Battlefield 2 therapy has improved his condition by leaps and bounds.

Yik, once suspected for being the source of this contagious disease, gave doctors hope by showing early signs of a complete recovery. Yik has reduced his daily games count to a average 3/day as compared to his 18/day record.

He shocked his mates by doing the unthinkable this morning - did his own laundry. Even though he threw his best friend(bro), Patrick the Starfish, into the washing machine as well as leaving his clothes out to "dry" under the rain, the doctors are still confident.

In addition to that, he finally realised the original purpose of him being in NTU which is to study and study he did for the past couple of days!
When interviewed, he would only smile and say "Lac ah.. not gian leh! i only play when i'm invited by special people, if not why bother? hee"

Only signs which are bothering the doctors are that after recovering from the disease, Yik might have caught a talking virus commonly known as "Chicken Backside(CB) Mouth". He was caught by our reporters on a couple of occasions taunting everyone around him especially Druggy Hoe. The latest comment was about Druggy's boxers not being tight enough to satisfy Yik's fantasy.

But all in all, its a joy to behold. Rugbynet would like to extend our congratulations to Bryanboy Yik for making such a speedy recovery!

Stay tuned for more updates!

With the mood in planet NTU furiously turning into one of fervent mugging egged on by endless cups of coffee, the editors have decided to answer the call of all die hard fans and release an exclusive post about 5 of the fan's favourite personnel and what they are up to during this make or break period for some, while for others its already broken..

Bryanboy Yik
Yik was last heard being checked out of the Dota's Annonymous help group where he was cured of the infamous disease rampant in the Boon Lay warrior's team recently, Dotatilitis. He is said to have picked up a new game called Battlefield to sustain his cravings for rapid mouse clickings. During a particular game in the NTU Hall 1 Lan shop, he left his room door unguarded and unfortunately had his handphone and wallet stolen. He was fortunate to have all his notes intact, because they were all blank.

Jason 'Rainman' Law
Rainman continues to be oblivious about the impending exams, preferring to spend his time aimlessly on Dota as well as dabbling into the dark arts. In his most recent attempt to make Arjun 'Show it' Pandey's clothes disappear into thin air using radiation, the trick backfired and the only thing disappearing into thin air was his mop of hair. Rainman is now looking pathetically like his room mate, Darren 'I'm on drugs' Hoe and both of them are coincidentally members of the Yunnan Hair Care Professional edition, guaranteed for fast results.

Darren 'I'm on drugs' Hoe
Having ambitions both on and off the field has spurred NTU's most flamboyant flanker to take on a demanding academic post in school, on top of his sporting commitments. However, his fellow students seem more amused by his sparkling bald head and are now faithfully vandalizing every single photo available on the school notice boards. Druggy Hoe has now spent the last few days at Boon Lay Konica to retake all his photos to publish them on the notice boards again.

Chia Khim Hock The Clown
Clown Chia is commonly known as Eric, although he would prefer people to call him Khim Hock. Incidentally, Khim Hock is a real cousin of Fiona Xie, the pretty Mediacorp Actress. In between studying, Khim Hock can be seen at Mediacorp events holding up posters and flowers for his famous cousin. The editors have also discovered many of the actress's personal lingerie collection in his wardrobe in hall and Khim Hock is also rumoured to have spent all this time superimposing his face onto all the partners of Fiona Xie's kissing scenes on tv.

Emery 'Sub 10' Ong
Sub 10 was forced to put his awesome rugby season on hold for the upcoming exams. These days, he has been spotted with a pretty lady with braces every day. However, he was oblivious to her beauty and preferred to spend his time checking out Youtube videos of guys and their funny moments. The editors are indeed shocked, but respect his choice of sexual orientation. He is after all a pageant contestant in the much acclaimed NTU Sports Club.

Tucked away in a forsaken corner of Singapore, NTU is often touted as one of the least desired universities behind big players like NUS and cart-wheeling SMU, all because of their less than desirable location. Where else in Singapore can you mistake yourself to be in some random and misty Johor jungle, with the haze hitting you much worse than in Clementi.

As always in life, the Almighty intervenes and cast upon the suffering ones a stroke of miracle by creating a Botak Jones right in the concrete jungle of Tuas (this piece of magic is of much greater scale than Magician Law’s, whose limited repertoire of tricks are compiled in a 3 disc DVD called Breaking the Magician's Code).




For the uninitiated, Botak Jones offers authentic American food at student-friendly prices. Any given weekday, members of the Boonlay Warriors Rugby team can be seen at the Tuas outlet gorging themselves on the multiple pattied cheese burgers. In fact, a deal has been struck with Botak Jones to allow the smaller members of the team a specially catered menu which guaran-damn-tees immediate weitght gain.

“Where I come from, it is unusual to see guys so small walking around the streets. It is my dream and vision to make Singapore the next US” said the legendary founder of Botak Jones, B.J Jones. Our reporters could not confirm if B.J Jones was indeed botak, as his mop of hair looked suspiciously like a wig.

“It is my dream come true to be part of the Boonlay Warriors Rugby team. Since young, I have heard of them and their deal with Botak Jones. To finally have a chance to be big and stand up for myself when I get bullied is a god send. You guys have no idea how traumatic it is when I get felt up by muscular gays in gym and there is nothing I can do about it.” recounted Gay-briel “The Stickman” Loi.

“To be honest, there was a huge part of me that wanted to fail my last module in NTU so I can be part of the team still. I practically grew up with the Botak Jones menu and to tell me to get on with life and put that part of my life behind me is certainly the most difficult dilemma I have encountered so far” NTU alumnus Cliff ‘When’s Dinner' Yap told the reporters sadly.

When contacted, coach Lincoln Tan said “I am from an earlier era and frankly; I still prefer my fried pig trotters over fries and burgers anyday. However, I understand the boy’s needs and I encourage all of them to try it.”



“I am joining the team next year but I have already begun my training programme to win the only title in Singapore that has eluded me so far. In fact, I have much to learn still as I recently died after eating the Double Beef Burger set. I may be due to the sauce they used for the steak I ate just before the burger. You know, I am not really a fan of steak, I prefer the sausages sold by the cute little boy Mark Koh in NUS.” Our reporters were fortunate enough to secure Rebel Rong for an interview while doing an onsite reporting live from the Clementi outlet.

When contacted whether the NTU female team had similar plans with Botak Jones, the captain 1.475m Lay-dee replied “Rugby and touch rugby are two totally different sports, besides the many similar rules, the only similarity they share are the oval ball. While the guys tend to rely solely on size and muscle their way through their opponents, we ladies play with much more flair and guile, with much focus on teamwork and tactics. In fact, with the right tactics, it lets us get away with a win even though we might have an inability to pass the ball properly. I am confident that if the guys continue chomping on their burgers while we girls look pretty and train hard on our tactics, we will be able to match the guys in our own sport in a decade or so.”

“I am World-cup bound and I need to stay focused on my goals. Botak Jones does not feature anywhere in my plans now. Although this is a lesser competition compared to the Miss Universe, I am willing to put in any amount of effort that will ensure success. I am also not ruling out a height enhancement surgery by Dr McNamara and Troy in Florida to match the 6ft4” towering girls from other continents. Special made platform boots is another alternative, we’ll see.”

Tags: haze, Clementi, The Almighty, Breaking the Magician's Code, stickman, Lay-dee, Miss Universe, platform boots